When You’re a Minimalist, but Your Partner Isn’t

Hopefully you know your partner pretty well before you get into a committed relationship, and most partners are more similar than dissimilar. Maybe you two recently moved in and their disorganized habits have started to get to you, or maybe these things have really added up over the years. Regardless, we work with couples all the time to help them get on the same page about getting organized. If you’re a minimalist and your partner is not, this post is for you!  

A Few Tips Before Getting Started:

1. Accept your differences and be willing to compromise.

2. Have a conversation about why you want to organize your space. Is it to clear mental clutter, to make mornings with the kids easier, or to downsize before moving? Having a “why” gives you both something to come back to when you’re faced with tough decisions later in the process. 

3. Set a timeline or schedule dates for when you’re going to organize. Rather than badgering your partner with questions on a Thursday evening, give both parties the chance to carve this time out. Knowing when or how long this will take will help put a hesitant partner at ease. 

4. Set a good example by decluttering your own spaces and letting go of things. 

5. Never throw away your partner’s things without asking! 

Designate zones, storage items, or rooms to each person:
If your partner is chronically disorganized or messy, give them a designated space to do that. We’re not trying to change anyone, and they need to know that! The spaces you share should be your top priority, and getting those spaces organized will probably create positive change over time. We’ve seen it over and over. One partner is totally against our services, but once they see what we’ve done in the garage or kitchen, they want the whole house done, too! 

Label to help maintain the system:
There’s no excuse for putting pasta where the baking supplies go if there are labels in the pantry. In common spaces especially, provide clear labels so everyone using the space knows where to put things away. We love to add clear, hidden labels on the sides of shelves or edges of drawers to keep a space looking neat but maintain its order. Know your family! If your partner or children need large, colorful labels so it’s crystal clear; do what you need to do. Gently point out if something is put back incorrectly and explain why it’s important. Labeling works great for roommates, too! 

Hire a Professional to be your Referee:
If you’ve decided the only chance that you and your partner have of not killing each other in the process is to hire a neutral party, then so be it! Many clients tell us that although they could organize on their own, hiring us as accountability partners gives them the motivation to do it. When the referee shows up, it’s game time. We’ve been known to take the blame for when kids’ things go missing, too. We don’t mind!